February 2012
1 post
hair cut
Carrie had nappy hair. For a while, she didn’t even care. One day she went wonky, She felt like a donkey, So she poured on a bottle of Nair.
December 2010
2 posts
Quacking and yacking
There once was a cat named Benny. He couldn’t hold his Henny. After he hacked, and after he yacked, He was good at pinching a penny. There once was a puppy named Jack who was quite scared of a backpack. He was scared of most things, Ducks often have wings. He barked. He never did quack.
Mindjawb Haiku
I was recently laid off from my blowy job. I got a RIM job.
August 2010
1 post
H is for Haiku.
Hippopotamus. Homosexuality. Homosapien.
March 2010
1 post
My neighbor has been freaking out all night about...
October 2009
3 posts
The Lasting Happiness
Today I feel different. Happiness is among us. Every tiny thing can bring joy. Last night, I was truly inspired. Amazing people. Spirits were free and lifted. Truly genuine and engaging. I saw so much that I want to see in myself. Negativity must leave. Giving and receiving love. Hope and smiles. Anticipation of good things to come. Pamper and primp. Pleasure and peace. Invaluable lesson on...
They are almost always magical.
My favorite spot is the couch, And Benny will often join, Growing into a grouch. It’s like a flip of a coin. Clawing and kneading - ouch! Another wound on my groin. Look on QVC - what a cute pouch! Nincompoop just called in from Des Moines. Asleep I go, in a slouch. Perhaps later I’ll cook pork loin.
My latest haiku:
Your mom is a ho.
I think your...
September 2009
7 posts
And I quote...
It’s not a big truck. Warble garble internet. A series of tubes.
I am still mad at Andre.
Champagne is a tasty treat. When it bubbles, it tickles my feet. Not really, that’s gross. Keep it away from my toes. It doesn’t contain any meat.
It was rotten just now.
Pull apart the shell to get some deliciousness. Every once in a while, you get a gross wrinkly one. Almonds are not as tasty. Nuts are yummy. U have a dirty mind. Top hats and monocles look silly on a damn peanut.
FAIL
Fantasies are really creepy. And often make me really sleepy. Igloos are not quite like a tee pee. Liquid will make you go pee pee.
Iron-y.
I am a heifer. I like to eat cheeseburgers. Bring me some more meat.
Zippy the cow.
There once was a cow named Zippy, and he was kind of a hippy. He ate lots of grass that gave him green gas. His response was always DAMN SKIPPY!